This must be the place
I’ve been noticing my space a bit more of late. Maybe it’s the various decluttering projects I’ve embarked on (and I’m currently losing to), or the DIY projects spring has guilted me into, or maybe it’s because the whole place feels lighter and more sunny?
I wasn’t sure when we first moved into this house, it was all modern and bright and white, when the version of life I’d imagined was “period” and (fake) Farrow & Ball “Down Pipe” and “original features”. Deciding to move from a tiny flat off the Holloway Road was brought into sharp focus during the first lockdown and so I, along with the rest of London, decided tiny living / working / eating / sleeping / socialising with no green things in a space no cat could be swung wasn’t the one.
And so we searched and made offers and gritted through chains breaking and places falling through and multiple part time accommodations each - smaller than the one before until it was a sofa bed in a living room (I was seriously pumping through my anti-stress-strategies over that period), and this place was where we landed.
I’ll be honest, I didn’t love it, it felt like all of the compromise and not much of the wish list and I saged the f*ck out of the whole place. But 2 years on, with the injections of “us” into the space, comforting me in the dark times, and happy memories in the making, it is home. Nay, Sanctuary.
Home is where we spend a lot of our time so it should be a place to feel safe, loved and at ease. It got me thinking about how our safety and happiness is wrapped up in part in our environment.
There was a dude called Maslow who, in the 1950s theorised a Hierarchy of Needs with physiological needs at the foundation (those we need to survive) and self actualised needs at the top (creative and intellectual stuff). A home space features in 2 of the 5 needs - both in physiological and safety & security.
Marslow Triangle
Read more on Wiki
And for me it is absolutely part of who I am, growing-up experiences leading to craving a place where I can be comfortable, happy, protected, all of life, and just me.
It’s easy to take for granted how moving house, or having a lingering row, or living in a mess can affect our well-being. So if you’re noticing you’re on high alert, cruising through on stress mode at the moment, it could be that you’re feeling a little detached from your space.
Mind Donut
Here are some things that might help you connect, and in doing so create a little extra dose of subliminal support.
Get it all out
Do some Marie Kondo and see what you’ve got tucked away before you start buying new stuff. I hate to admit it but there is something v soothing after the chaos of everything everywhere all at once reshaping into some sort of order…for at least 24 hours anyway. It’ll help you love your stuff (and space!) more.
Green fingers
Buy or nurture some lovely plants. Having something to care for helps give a great sense of meaning, increases productivity and focus, and of course can temper those stress levels. If you’re wfh, use a plant break to separate from the busyness of the day.
Let the light in
Oooo yes, you know, that stuff we see a few days a year called sun? Find a spot always in the light and position a chair nearby for reading or crafting or just having a sunny minute. You won’t get the same concentration of vitamin D through the glass as being outside, but it’s a good option whilst we’re still in the middle of sun-gale-hail times.
Get creative
Collect or create art. It’ll add a whole lot of you in the space. Studies have shown when folks have art around it leads to greater health and happiness. When I’m drawing a blank with my work, I’ll sometimes inadvertently find my eyes wandering to the pictures on the wall to unblock creativity. Think of it as creating or curating your very own gallery.
Make memories
Make memories in your space! It doesn’t have to be jazzy stuff - tea and biscuits, movie night, a tour of your new home gallery! Let your F&F share and love and relax in your home.
As for me, I love my space now, obviously, there’s always something broken, it’s a greedy money pit, and I feel like I’m losing the tidy battle, but it’s modern and white and bright and full of happy stuff and I’m ok with that.
