I was a bit scared of this book. Not least because of the size of it, but also because of what I was afraid to discover.

The premise is that helpful supportive habits can be born from the smallest (atomic) seeds by breaking down all the habits you already have, figuring out the habits you want, and then providing loads of ideas on how to build them in until they become autonomous. 

It’s not so much about banishing “bad” habits, more about creating space for new ones so the old ones end up having nowhere to go.

And I’ve actually managed to integrate some of those new habits into everyday life - I particularly like an idea he shares called “habit stacking” which I’ve talked about before and you can find my version of it in THIS toolbox post. One of my “habit stacks'' is setting my Lumie earlier, doing a little 5 minutes of quiet brain / breathing time first thing, getting my athleisurewear out the night before, and putting it in front of the bedroom door so I literally have to move it in the morning if I want to avoid it. Seems to be working. 

So no actually, not scary, and yes actually, quite helpful.

My fave read of 2023, and one lots of my friends have received as gifts. 

It tells the story of Bjorn - Swedish CFO of AGA, turned Thai forest monk, turned inadvertent well-being sage, and all his nuggets of wisdom accumulated along the way. It’s thoughtful and moving, but joyful and relatable, and certainly got my grey matter ticking about what it’s all about. 

I loved his doses of zen wisdom like this: 

“We can’t affect all possible outcomes to make everything come together exactly the way we want. But we can choose to act from our brightest intentions. We can take responsibility for the moral quality of our actions and our words. That’s no small thing. It matters a great deal. and we can all do it. No one else needs to change for you to become more beautiful inside.”

The sub header for this one is “travelling the world to find the good death”. 

Caitlin is a mortician and in this book she explores different cultures' approach to death, meets the folks who are death-care innovators, and visits futuristic spiritual mourning spaces. 

So think of this as a travelogue via the art of worldly death rituals in all their glory. 

Maybe I’ve got a personal interest as I’ve been lucky enough to visit Mexico's Dia De Los Muertos, the wonder of which will stay with me forever. 

Yea, it’s gruesome in parts, but it’s also beautiful too as you get to explore traditions and feel the love people have when they say their final goodbyes to their loved one.

Plus it gave me some good ideas about how I’d like to tap dance off stage left. And yes, tap dancing is part of it.   

Navigating family life, even as a grown up, is complicated. The family you grew up in, the family you’ve chosen, the family you’ve created. 

And this book brings that all together and tackles all the various dynamics, your “place” in the family, your experiences past and present, boundaries and emotional management, patterns and behaviour head on. I enjoyed it because of the empowering real life strategies at the heart of each chapter which the reader can make their own. And it’s an easy, accessible read too for such a hard subject. 

I’m no way recommending this because she’s my name-sister (ok maybe I am a bit but it is really really good).

“The relationships that impact us most are those with family. The wounds are deep, and the relationships are filled with expectations. Whether you consider your family truly dysfunctional or just want to resolve some drama, I hope reading this book will show you that you aren’t alone and that you have the power to decide what you want in your relationships with others. You can choose how to live your life. Believe that you have everything within yourself to make hard and healthy decisions.”

I’d like this woman’s job one day. As a newspaper agony aunt, Philippa has a wonderful way of figuring through, seeing the wood for the trees, and dishing out practical advice that’s sometimes hard to read due to its realness, but honest, pragmatic, and easy to digest. 

The book is split into four parts - how we love, how we argue, how we change, how we find contentment, and it’s peppered with real life letters and Philippas responses. 

She shares such gems as :

Sometimes being authentic means we’re not as kind as we would wish to be. If this makes you feel guilty, remember guilt is better than resentment. 

When old trauma lies buried deep within our bones it doesn’t show itself in so many words, but is more of a free floating anxiety or an incognate persistent worry - and we just can’t bat this away with logic. It is not a sign that we are broken. Only a sign that we have been made more sensitive to the fragility of life. 

Embrace moments of change not as a frightening unknown, but as an opportunity to uncover and pursue your desires. 

Here here. 

I have scribbled pencil notes and folded corners all through this one. Perfect if you want to do a little holiday reflecting.

This has been by my side for years and I return to it again and again. This book of poetry always seems to provide words of comfort and inspiration and beauty just right for the time. I often open to a page and the words I need to hear are right there in front of me. 

This was one I used to open my women’s circle a few months ago:

The Gateway 

Our practise of cultivating stillness

Is just as important to our growth

As our momentum is

We say we want change

And so

We must take the time to stop 

And ask the questions

What's working?

What's blocking? 

Where can I let go and make room

For what's making its way to me?

It's never too late 

To push pause

Disrupt the plan

Or choose and entirely new path